Women’s Resource Center
Learn the signs of an abusive relationship.
Getting out of an abusive or violent relationship isn’t easy. Maybe you’re still hoping that things will change or you’re afraid of what your partner will do if they discover you’re trying to leave. Whatever your reasons, you probably feel trapped and helpless. But help is available. There are many resources available for abused and battered women, including crisis hotlines, shelters—even job training, legal services, and childcare. Call Reach now to start living a life free of fear, it's what you deserve.
Signs your abuser is NOT changing:
You might be experiencing domestic violence if your partner:
If you're gay, bisexual or transgender, you might also be experiencing domestic violence if you're in a relationship with someone who:
Help for abused men and women: Making the decision to leave:
If you’re hoping your abusive partner will change, the abuse will probably happen again. Abusers have deep emotional and psychological problems. While change is not impossible, it isn’t quick or easy. Change can only happen once your abuser takes full responsibility for his or her behavior, seeks professional treatment, and stops blaming you, their unhappy childhood, stress, work, drinking, or temper. You may think you’re the only one who understands them or that it’s your responsibility to fix their problems. But the truth is that by staying and accepting repeated abuse, you’re reinforcing and enabling the abusive behavior. Instead of helping your abuser, you’re perpetuating the problem.
If your partner has promised to stop the abuse:
When facing consequences, abusers often plead for another chance, beg for forgiveness, and promise to change. They may even mean what they say at the moment, but their true goal is to stay in control and keep you from leaving. Most of the time, they quickly return to their abusive behavior once they’ve been forgiven and they’re no longer worried that you’ll leave.
If your partner is in counseling or a program for batterers:
Even if your partner is in counseling, there is no guarantee that they’ll change. Many abusers who go through counseling continue to be violent, abusive and controlling. If your partner has stopped minimizing the problem or making excuses, that’s a good sign. You still need to make your decision based on who they are now, not the person you hope they will become.